The Emotional Depths of the Pisces Full Moon & all that is coming...

As I surface out of the emotional and watery depths of the Pisces full moon, I have found more inner strength than before. The intensity of its energy got me questioning many parts of myself, once again. There could be no stone left unturned. Wounds buried deep within rising upwards to be felt and healed. I meet others that become reflections, representing the old and the new. I hide away and curl myself up to retreat from the madness, to get quiet, to enquire. I want to run. Yet, I know I can no longer hide from the truth. A therapist says to me, “you attract these lessons into your life because your soul wants to learn, it’s a part of your dharma.” I understand. Sometimes I wonder why I chose this path, and then I see that the path chose me, I’m just following the guidance, and I’m so grateful for it all. And in the days when I wish I could go back, where ignorance was bliss, I know that I can’t, and actually I wouldn’t want to, in truth. At the same time my ceiling literally collapses in on me from the heavy rain, representing the old crumbling down and away.

To shift the intense energy and emotions, I dance. This is one of my greatest releases. The moon is full and shines onto the dance floor. I connect with a sister in movement and we intertwine. She offers some sweet medicine in the way her body moves with mine. I sweat tears of joy and ecstasy as the raindrops fall onto my skin. I become so lost in the movements I’m not sure where my body ends and where it begins. I offer one hand to my heart and one to my womb in stillness as the energy surges through me. I’m shaking. I’m releasing. I’m rewriting. Everything that came before this moment was just a lesson, a preparation of what’s to come. I disappear internally. I am here revelling in my own beauty, in my own sacred space of oneness, of divine union within myself.

After little sleep I wake to feel my heart so open. It is open, it is ready, and it is full of love, yet tender. I offer her comfort and let her know that everything is all right. Despite little rest I have the urge to run. I run to the waters edge in the dew of the morning sun. No one is around but the nature, and me, just the way I like it. I sit on the cliff side as the waves crash against the shore. The sun is rising and the wind carries the salty splashes from the ocean onto my skin. It feels divine. I offer prayers to the Earth, to those yet to come, and sit in deep gratitude for it all.

This time is all leading up to something big that is coming. On the day of the Equinox, I will embark on potentially one of the most life changing journeys of my life. A journey that I have been feeling into for as long as I can remember; Peru is calling. I knew that the opportunity would appear at the right time, so I didn’t go searching for it, yet allowed it to come to me. One of the things I felt I knew for sure was that I had to go before having a child. It was just the message I’d received, amongst many others. Peru is where the Sacral Chakra of the planet is located. It is the chakra of creativity, pleasure, and union between masculine and feminine. It is said that just being on the land alone can offer deep insights and transmissions, if you are open and ready to receive them. I’m ready.

The lead up to this venture has brought up many different emotions for me. Fear, judgment, resistance, deep vulnerability and a sense of, am I worthy of receiving this medicine? Yet, I know it is time. I trust that divine intervention and angels have woven me into this moment. The last 2 months have felt like a dream. I’ve experienced some of the most magical moments and also some deeply profound, moving and healing shifts too. I realise that this sense of a dream has been because I have allowed myself to be more and more present in time. Where I would once spend time fearing the future and spend so much energy in that place… I have simply let go, and come into the here and now, again and again.

Sometimes being so present I would catch myself and wonder why I wasn’t feeling anxious or fearful, which would make me feel fear again! How ironic? It takes time to change the habit of a lifetime. I realised that it is so innate in us to fear the future because it’s been deeply programmed and instilled in us as we have grown up, through parents, through school, through society. Fear is where they want to keep us, because it is safer and more in control. When we really let go of fear, we are able to see that we are fully capable of creating the best life that we desire and deserve. Free from the constructs of life, as we now know it. I feel a big shift emerging.

Personally, I feel like I’ve been in the chrysalis phase for a while, and I feel collectively there are many sitting in this place too. At times it’s this uncomfortable and messy phase we encounter as we shed, and shift, before the big transformation unveils. We’re breaking down old constructs, we’re realising that life does not have to be lived in the way we have been told it “should” be lived. We’re noticing more, feeling more, seeing more. The veils are thin. We are feeling our planet, as we shift, so does she. As we confront our internal turmoil, so does she. So, we are being called to rise in love, to heal within, to become sovereign. To come back to self love, again and again and again. To stop pointing the finger, and bring it back to self. To rise out of victimhood to see that everything that we are experiencing is our own creation. That life is happening for us, not to us. We are our own responsibility. And it’s time to take charge, to make a change.

Last year my two words were Trust and Surrender. This year has been about fully embodying those words into my life. When and if fear arises I observe and say thank you for showing me that you’re still there, and shift the perspective into trust. Finding courage to take the leaps of faith into the life that I feel I have come here to live. Not settling. Not accepting things just because it’s easier. Rather, seeing the expansiveness of life and what is possible. Surrounding myself with people that resonate on the same frequency of unconditional love. With those that are really ready to step into this place, into this truth. I fully let go to the flow, and surrender.

I feel the closing of a big cycle. I feel the pilgrimage to Peru will bring me the exact medicine I need right now, and shift me into the next cycle; the next phase of life that I have been heading towards. For once, I’m going on an adventure that isn’t about going to share, or teach, or to be in service, but a journey for me to fully be, and to receive.

What is it that your heart is calling you towards when you allow yourself the silence to listen? She’s whispering, are you listening? Nature’s speaking, do you hear?

Sending so much love to your beautiful hearts
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